INSPIRE (Hide x Hitsugi)
by JrockSpam's Requested Fics
Summary: One-shot


_**WARNING: the following fic is about the romantic/sexual relationship between an adult and a minor. You have been warned**_

Moving to Sendai was the worst decision I ever made. I moved for peace, a chance of scenery and sure as hell I got a change of scenery but peace was stolen just 3 days after I settled into my new apartment. I had considered a house but as I didn't plan to be there very often and having very little possessions to place in my home, except for essentials and the odd figurine, an apartment seemed best suited.

Fans are crazy fuckers. Often quite sneaky too. On the other hand, my little 'peace-taker', as I like to call him, wasn't sneaky and without a doubt wasn't crazy. Well, actually, that may be a lie. He's a little sneaky, after all, he did spy on me to find the entry code for my apartment. Little rat…  
I've gotten to know the irritancy, another thing I like to call him, fairly well.  
His personal name is Mitsuo, he refused to tell me his family name for some reason; Makes no difference to me.  
He copies me. He actually mimics me the little bastard. Hair, guitar, and phrases I use.  
He's very self-conscious, especially about his height and stocky build. He's a proper downer when it comes to talking about himself.  
Pain doesn't bother him. Whether he's piercings his own lip with a pin or I'm pushing him down the stairs.  
He's only 16.  
He says some pretty strange things. Like the other day, he randomly gave me this piece of advice-

"_Always wear clean underwear because you don't want to get hit by a bus and have people realise they're 'unclean'. If you don't die from being run over, you'll surely die from embarrassment. _

_This goes unless you are a witch. If you're a witch, then you can see the future so you'll be aware of when and where you're going to die… This explains a lot about witches"_

I don't see why that peculiar advice was relevant. He had been rambling about pandas about 3 seconds before he blurted that out…

He declares to be in love with me…

And to my fear, I'm sickened to think I may have 'softened' to him. I'm scared to think I may be beginning to feel the same. Sweet, I bet you're thinking but, fuck, it's anything but. Do you understand how disgusting and sick this is? He's 16. I'm 33! I'd love to say 'I don't give a fuck!' but I don't fancy on being arrested for having sex with someone under the age of 18.  
Sex? As I speak to you, dare reader, my lips are too honest for my liking. Scratch that, I don't fancy touching him in any way. I think I'm already liable for an arrest of some kind for pushing him down the stairs. It was only the last 6 or 7 steps, but he still got hurt. I think he hit his head on something as he went down. The hand rail maybe, I don't know. I'm not sure whether I had cared more about feeling guilty for hurting him or whether I was in fear of my neighbours coming out and seeing him lying on the floor as if he'd been hypnotised. I had picked up his semi-conscious body and hurried back up the stairs and to my apartment. That was the first time he had actually entered my place, and now he's always here. He waits outside my apartment for me in hope I'll be in a half-decent mood and let him in. Sometimes I do, sometimes I tell him straight to fuck off. His face is a portrait of misery when I say that. Serves him right for being so damn hopeful. Pathetic.  
But he can be a laugh… We watch movies sometimes.  
This is disgusting.

I turn my head to look at Mitsuo, who sat cross legged on my red leather sofa, his eyes glued to the television screen as he fiddled with a strand of fading red hair. My eyes were perverse as I gazed up and down at his body. Sick. He's 16 and I think I'm beginning to forget that. Mitsuo must have felt my gaze as he gingerly turned his head and asked in a breaking voice.

"Why are you staring at me?"

I thought quickly "Are you a hafu?"

He blinked "Why?"

"Your eyes" I cringed.

'Your eyes?!' Why did I say that?! Sure that was why I had asked, but it's one of those lines that can be taken in suggestion for attraction. Why do they always have to relate looking into someone's eyes to romance?! It's stupid-

Mitsuo blushed "Both my parents are hafu. So I guess I am…" he mumbled "Do I look weird then?"

"A bit. You're eyes are too wide" I shrugged, using as much enthusiasm as a tortoise had for anything but sleeping.

"I wear tape!" he blurted out desperately "Because my eyes aren't a normal shape anyway, so I thought it would make them look better-"

"Don't work. You look like a shocked koala"

Mitsuo hung his head, his fingers drifting to his face, sliding up towards his eyes to scratching his eyelids. I raised an eyebrow and glanced at the tele for a second. When I looked back, Mitsuo was staring at me with unfamiliar eyes. Thinner eyes, but still with very noticeable double eyelids.

"Better?" he asked weakly.

"I guess" I muttered.

Silence fell, but the clicking and squeaking sounds of Mitsuo sucking and chewing his bottom lip told me it wouldn't last long. I heaved a heavy sigh, and sunk a little more into the sofa. The teenager mumbled something, but every word blended into a hum.

"What?" I grunted.

He repeated himself, but I still couldn't understand. I glanced over him, scowling. He didn't see as he stared at his nails. I whizzed my head back around and grabbed the remote off the coffee table in front of me and turned the television off. The room fell close to dark, the only light was the silver shine of the full moon bleeding through the large windows. Mitsuo flicked the switch on the lamp nearby him, spoiling the silver gloom with a burst of orange.

"I said it's my birthday soon."

"Good for you"

"Don't you know what that means?"

"What does it mean for kids your age? Isn't it all the latest dragon ball Z videos and a little glass of wine your father gives you as a treat?" I scoffed, putting my feet up on the table.

"I'll be 17"

"So?"

"I'll be older" finally, he looked back at me with a serious expression.

"So?" I repeated

Mitsuo shuffled and looked away "I'll be older"

"No shit Sherlock"

Mitsuo returned his gaze to me, his face looking desperate "You know what I'm trying to say" he practically whined.

"No. Not really"

"I mean…" he swallowed, leaning further back into the sofa, fiddling with the undone zip of his jumper "1 year…"

"1 year since what?"

"Not since. Until."

"Until what?" I groaned. I wasn't even sure why I was humouring him. I didn't care for fuck sake…

"Until I'm 18"

"Brilliant" I said sarcastically, before my brain hooked onto where the teenager was going with this.

"In 1 years' time it won't be wrong"

I snorted at him even though my heart was beginning to race "You're still hopeful I'm just gunna drop everything for you right?"

"I didn't used to feel like that-"

Here he goes talking about feelings. I've known a male to be so emotional. It's uncomfortable to witness, in my case because it's such a foreign personality trait.

"I used to just admire you. I wanted to serve you and learn from you-"

"I'm not a fucking wizard!"

Mitsuo carried on, ignoring my comment "But now you're more than just my idol, Mr Hide. You're everything to me."

"It's just a fanboy crush. You'll get over me"

"I won't!" Mitsuo insisted, crawling over to me "I will never get over you! This isn't a crush!"

"Calm down!" I pushed him back to the other side of the sofa "God, you're like a dog in heat"

"I'm not!"

"You are. Now calm down or doggy won't get a bone"

"Stop treating me like a child!"

"Actually, I was treating you like a dog-"

"I'm not a child or a dog!"

"Sorry to break this to you kid, but you are a child"

"I'm almost an adult-"

"A little way to go but in your case, a long fucking way"

Hitsugi glared at me "Why do you do this?"

I groaned, covering my eyes with my hand "Do _what_…?"

"Pretend like there's nothing"

"Because there IS NOTHING, kid!" I insisted, clenching my fists.

"Stop denying it!" Mitsuo yelled in annoyance, his voice high in desperation.

"Get out!"

Mitsuo jaw tightened as his stare became filled with fury.

"No."

"I said get out!"

"Why should I?!"

"Because I said so!"

"I'm not going anywhere!" Mitsuo folded his arms

I opened my mouth to speak, but quickly shut it again. I shook my head and got up, heading to the kitchen. I heard the little peace-taker squeak out my name.

"Hide?"

I ignored him, and clicked the kettle on. The metal water boiler began to gurgle and hum as I went to the cupboard and grabbed a mug. I paused for a moment, before taking a second. It was when I was pouring milk into one cup, leaving the other black, that Mitsuo finally came to investigate. His eyes were wide as he some-what nervously leaned on the door edge, as if nervous to enter the same room as me.

"Hide?"

I pushed the milky coffee towards him "Yours"

My eyes fell on him as he picked up the cup. We stared at each other, both holding our cups but neither of us drinking from them. Mitsuo bit his lips but his eyes remained glued. He looked at me so innocently, his fluffy red fringe falling into his face. He looked so small and cuddly it made me sick. His chubby face, his wide brown eyes, tiny teeth, shortness and soft build. I growled as I put the cup down. I stepped slowly towards Mitsuo, taking the cup out of his hand and placing it on the side. He looked at me, clueless. His eyes sprung wide as I practically pounced on him. I embraced his small body, holding him so close he could probably hear my heart beat. He gasped as his head hit my chest, but relax in my arms, moments later to gingerly wrap his arms round my neck. He felt so warm against me. He felt right in my arms like he was meant to be there. I felt him swallow before he finally murmured out-

"I know… I know you think it's just a crush but it's not, Mr Hide." His voice was as soft as silk as he spoke "I bet you think it's wrong, and it probably is, but-… But…" he nuzzled closer to me "But it feels so right. It makes me happy"

I rolled my eyes but held him a little closer. He's such a soppy little… Idiot. But I guess that's Mitsuo for you, eh? He was right though. It was wrong, but it felt so right. My mind began to twist, trying to make the wrongs right. Is 16 really such a bad age to be kissing a 33 year old? It's better than 15-.

I pulled back a little. Mitsuo looked up at me with his beautiful eyes, his lips slightly parted. I couldn't resist. I leaned down and pressed my lips onto his, pulling him close once again. He kissed back, wrapping his arms round my neck a little tighter as he melted against me. His kiss was warm and soft, no desperation for anything more than my lips.

He was such a sweet boy. I never called what we had a 'relationship' but that was what it was. I never told him he meant a lot to me but he did. That boy almost become my world but nothing could come between me and my music.

It was music that killed me, but it was my music that gave birth to Hitsugi.

My Hitsugi.

It was May 2nd when I died. I shall not go into the details of my stupidity. I was practising a suicide stunt for a big showing coming up. It went wrong. If Mitsuo had arrived just 10 minutes before, I may have lived… But it wasn't his fault. He wasn't to know.

He ran up the apartment stairs with glee. He had passed a Maths exam with flying colours that day. He was so happy. For weeks he had told me how difficult he was finding school. He was stressed out due to tests and he was miserable from being teased. He was such a bright young boy but he didn't realise it. He was sure he would fail but I knew he'd pass. He got an A +, almost question right, he only got one wrong. I wouldn't have told him, but I would have been proud of the irritancy. I would have been happy for him.

"Hide! Hide!" He shouted as soon as he was outside my door, fumbling in his pocket for his keys "Hide, I passed! I bloody passed!" he burst in to my house with beam of happiness on his face "Hide!"

I didn't reply

"Hide? You home?"

Mitsuo began to search for me, calling my name. He knew I was home. He had phoned me not even 2 hours before.

"I'm home all day" I had told him "You can't stay late. I have a meeting at 8 in the morning"

He got to the bathroom. He turned the nob and nudged the door, feeling a pressure pushing back on him. Even so the door opened an inch.

"Hide?" he called again, now worried. "Hide!"

He forced all his weight against the door and pushed it half open, only stopping when a hand swung into view. My hand. My limp, cold hand.

Mitsuo scrambled to through the door and froze at what he saw. His breath caught in his throat before he ran out the room and grabbed my telephone, punching in the number for the police as quick as his shaking hands could.

I think a part of him died day. For that, I apologise. He waited there unsure of what to do. He managed to unhook my neck from the towel tied to the clothes hook and gently rested my still body on the floor. He felt around, trying to find a pulse, lying to himself that he could feel one. He was too late. I had gone minutes before I had found me.

The emergency services took him home, explaining to his parents what had happened. Mitsuo was in shock for several months but I think it took him even longer to get over me. He would have made me proud. He remembered me through his own career and kept my memory alive.

18 months passed and Mitsuo finally found a way to cope without me.

"I want to start a band" he told his friend "I want to do covers of X Japan!"

"You're obsessed" his friend told him "First you dye your hair like Hide, now you want to start a band! You do realise you aren't just going to wake one morning and be Hide, right?"

"Of course" Mitsuo smiled "But I still want to tribute something to the guy that inspired me"

And there, Hitsugi was born; A little mini me. I wish I could have been alive to watch him grow into the inspiring man he is today. If I could have died knowing what a good effect I had on him for his future, I would have died with a smile for sure.


End file.
